ahem

Dear Snow,

Alright. I know you serve a practical purpose, and I really do appreciate the tulips and cherry blossoms you provide in the Spring. Without you, the grass wouldn't be nearly as green or the trees nearly as fruitful. I would know -- I'm from the desert. However, I think you're being unnecessarily coy today. (And people wonder why I can't develop a positive relationship with you.) Check it: The first day of Spring was March 20th. Winter is over. Maybe you didn't get the memo, but it's time for you to get lost. I don't know why you get such a big kick out of your surprise appearance during finals week every year. Really now: the joke isn't funny anymore. Grow up and move on.

Warm regards,
-- EP